Lost in Transplanting
March 12th, 2008 categories: Military Life
Your spouse has orders for a new duty station. Now that the moving truck has left the driveway and you let out that sigh of relief and you’re on to a new adventure. During that transition time of days, or weeks depending how far your new assignment is and how much leave you are taking, you have that carefree feeling, almost as if you don’t have any real responsibilities, at least for the moment. You’ve lived the hard moments, saying goodbye to dear friends you’ve made, had your children say goodbye to theirs, tied all the loose ends. If time allows, you take a quick detour to visit family and perhaps old friends along the way to the new duty station.
As you arrive at your new location you ponder all the possibilities that lie ahead, all the unknowns. “Will I ever figure out my around this place?” was always one of my first questions - knowing I eventually would, just as I’d always done before. Schools are always important, if you have children. The issue of your children making friends changes with each age group - it was a lot easier when they were younger and it was definitely a lot easier to move before they were in school, you didn’t really care what rotation your husband/wife was on then. Once they get older you soon find out why everyone wants to be on the summer rotation!
I’ve always found it exciting to move to new places, around the country or around the world. There is always the excitement of meeting new people, learning things, seeing new places, learning new customs, creatint new memories. It’s a wonderful thing. However, there is that period where I tend to feel lost in the transplating. When the dust has settled, the children are enrolled in school, the last box has been unpacked and I don’t really know a soul around! Being a woman, this is time when I miss my old friends the most. The relationships you’ve nurtured, even if it’s for a few short years, are sorely missed. It can be a lonely time. Even if we throw ourselves head first into every kind of volunteer program and activities offered by the wives’/spouses’ clubs, we are still missing that vital connection that a true friend offers.
Thankfully, it seems that sooner or later, there is always someone in the great community of military spouses that you just click with. (great friends can be made outside the military community as well, especially when living off base). Then the process begins all over again. Getting to know that special friend or friends. Learning their likes and dislikes, their strengths and weaknesses, learning from their experiences, sharing their passions. Before you know it you’ve established another crucial friendship for that season, for that particular time in your life. A friend that you know perhaps you’ll never see again once those new orders come for them, or you. But you know the investment is worth the time, effort and the eventual pain you will feel as you say goodbye. That person will always have special place in your heart and you will always relive that season of your life whenever you think of them, no matter where you are. In the end maybe not all is lost in transplanting after all.
